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Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Guess I Better Check In

Pretty frustrated. Met my pre-scheduling goal last Wednesday. Waited til today for the bariatric RN to get back from vacation. She said that June & July's surgery schedules are full, and I have to wait up to 2 months until the August schedule opens up to get a surgery date. Are you kidding me?!?! UGH. And I have to go in every 2 weeks to be weighed.
Something most of you won't understand-- I was pretty much only able to lose that 25 lbs because I had a short-term goal, with a short time limit and an immediate reward- scheduling surgery. It's easier when you can push yourself to a short-term goal like that. In the week since neeting my goal, I've been really bad about dieting and I haven't exercised in over a week. I just keep finding excuses and putting it off. And yes, I put a few pounds back on. And I'm sick and tired of people saying, "see? you can lose the weight yourself". Yeah, but look what's already happened. And "you can't let yourself slip like that, stop being lazy, get back on track". That really doesn't help at all. In fact it's pretty infuriating. Why did I lose my drive/motivation so quickly? And nobody understands this stuff except others who have fought with their weight like this.
I'm just so mad that I am waiting up to 2 months to even get a date, and that date will be 4-8 weeks out!!! I don't know if I can mantain my weight that long!! For 2 months, I did my walking every day, and suddenly I'm "over it". WHY?! I'm too tired, too busy, etc... but I HAVE to go to the gym tonight. For 2 mos. I was excited to work out and bummed to miss my daily walk. What happened?! I'm just so frustrated all together.


  1. I totally get what you are feeling. You were so excited and proud of yourself and were looking forward to the validation of having that surgery date scheduled. The threat of loosing that date if you gained would have been enough to keep you going until then. But knowing they won't even schedule you for a while is really discouraging. You are right too, those comments wouldn't have helped anyone. I hate when people do that. Just do your best. Don't worry about a couple pounds because everyones weight fluctuates a little. Keep pushing yourself and keeping the final reward in mind. I don't understand why they can't schedule you now for August. I mean why not get you on the books now so you at least you have deadline in your mind. How frustrating for you. But I know you can keep going. You've come this far. You can do it!