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Friday, June 11, 2010

Waiting, Waiting...

I am officially down 30 pounds! I've gotten so used to having my awful little protein shakes for lunch, that I hardly miss eating fast food every day. Weekends get me, though, and I usually have something "normal" in moderation. Dinners are pretty normal, as long as I stay under my daily 800 cals. It hasn't been all that terrible making smarter choices!
Yesterday, the RN from the bariatrics department said I will almost definnitely be getting surgery in mid to late July!!! ~happy dance~ and I should get my surgery date sometimes next week.
I walked nearly every single day in April and May. Sometimes half a mile, usually 1-2 miles, and sometimes 3 miles. But June has been... not as good. I even joined the gym because it's getting to warm to walk outside. Problem is, I was doing most of my walking on my lunch hour... and I can't go now that it's warmer, because I can't come back to work all smelly and sweaty. In the evening, I'm just tired and distracted and full of excuses.
I am SO MUCH more tired all the time since dieting/losing! Insomnia + chronic pain mean I HAVE to take meds to fall asleep; while they don't give me that "hangover" that a lot of sleep meds do, I'm still tired ALL day, every day without my caffeine. If you're new here, over the last 3 months, I weaned from 80oz or more of diet Pepsi daily, all the way down to 12 oz daily, and then onto just one cup of coffee in the am instead, and now I'm on almost NO caffeine. An occasional diet Pepsi during the week and always a soda on the weekend. But caffeine AND carbomnation are contraband after surgery, so I'm trying to get it under control now.
I always thought a 30-lb loss would be pretty major as far as appearance. But I guess when you're obese, it's not. A couple of people have said my clothes are looser around the tummy and chest, and my mom said she's starting to see the loss in my face. I imagined it would be so drastic! I do pull up my scrub pants constantly, and I have to wear a belt with my jeans. And there's room to spare in my bra. But as far as overall appearance, 30 lbs is not noticeable. Whether it's someone that sees me daily, weekly, or monthly, nobody's mentioned it except for close friends who know how much I've lost... if it was really visible, people who DON'T know I'm dieting would be commenting, too. Oh, well. More drive to keep losing, I guess!
It' SO not fair that I'm allergic to milk. The protein shakes my husband occasionally buys at the gym taste just like real milkshakes. Mine taste like soggy cardboard. The 3 friends who've said "let me try a sip" of my shakes make gagging noises and faces, and gain new respect for my diet, lol.
I think that's all I've got for now; time to clock back in from lunch. I'm still in need of everyone's prayers! Thank you all so much.

PS- I need new shoes :p The $9 tennies from walmart just aren't cutting it. I've already gone through 2 pairs of insole inserts. One more week til payday... I hope hubby will spring for some this weekend :) At any given time, I have 6-8 blisters on the ball of EACH foot from walking in crappy cheap shoes. It certainly can't be good for my back, either. And the blisters definitely play a part in finding excuses to skip the gym. Plus, I have to pause the treadmill every half mile or so, take off my shoes, and re-adjust the inserts, lol. ew.
Last night, I took both dogs on a walk (seperately; the 6-yr old Chihuahua is a perfect leash-walker, but the 6-month old Bassett Hound does NOT get it yet). The BH kept lurching forward at random, every other minute, and it literally popped my shoulder out of the socket for a second. It hurt SO MUCH this morning. Hope the hubby starts walking with me to help control his dog :p

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